Too Hooah

You Might be a LITTLE too hooah If....

- the only time you and the spouse eat without the kids is at the unit "dining
out".
- you always back into parking spaces.
- you have to look up your parents phone number, but can dial the CQ, SDNCO,
company, battalion and brigade with no problem at all
- each page of your vacation atlas has two routes marked.
- your favorite author is Mike Malone or Tom Clancy.
- when your kids are too noisy, you announce "at ease!"
- you don't own any blue ink pens.
- your leave always occurs during the last week of September.
- you keep a box of MREs at home and in the trunk of your car in case of
emergencies.
- when talking to relatives by phone, you end the conversation with "out ."
- you refer to your spouse as "Household 6" or CINC House."
- you've seen Patton enough times to memorize his speech.
- CNN or FOX is your favorite program.
- you call the Post Locator instead of Information to find your friends.
- you take the family camping with no tent or sleeping bags.
- your kids can speak three languages by age eight.
- the only suit you own is your Class A uniform.
- you carry your cell phone to the shower.
- your vehicle is registered on post and in two different states.
- you have more money invested in TA-50 than in your car.
- you tell your kids to go to bed at 2100 and they try to explain that it's
only nine o'clock.
- the allotment column of your LES has more entries than the entitlement
column.
- no one understands the stories you tell because of all the acronyms.
- you can explain the Gettysburg battlefield better than directions to your
house.
- your kids know the words to "she wore a yellow ribbon."
- your two-year old calls everyone in ACUs "daddy".
- the phone book lists your rank instead of Mr.
- your spouse hasn't unpacked the good china for ten years.
- your monthly BAS goes to the mess hall.
- you ruin the movie for everyone around you by pointing out the unrealistic
military scenes.
- you live on post so you can hear reveille every morning.
- your family calls you "Sir."
- all your jokes begin with "there was this soldier, a marine and an
airman..."
- you feel compelled to get a haircut every five days.
- all of your shoes are military style, except for one pair and that pair is
your running shoes.
- you are convinced that coffee is a nutrient.
- your home town is convinced that you are a foreigner.
- your first impressions of civilians are that they all need haircuts.
- civilians exercise and you conduct PT.
- you feel guilty about leaving work at any hour.
- you only wear those dorky military glasses or the geeky aviation glasses.
- when your kids categorize other kids as either military brats or civilian
slugs.
- if the phones in your home resemble the standard military version.
- if you answer your phone at home by explaining that the line is unsecure.
- if your spouse owns several military cookbooks published by family support
groups.
- if half of the mementos in your house are from Korea or Germany.
- you don't leave the house, you sp
- when your spouse tells you the dishwasher isn't loaded according to sop