Merry Christmas

Baby Blues

Well this is my first post since P was born. He was 9 pounds 15 ounces and 21 inches long. I was induced and in labor for about 8 hours. It was one of my harder births even though I had an epidural. The epidural didn't go down far enough, so I was fully aware of everything that was going on once I was in the final stages. The doctor didn't really talk to me at all. P's heart rate kept dipping, so I was rolling on my side constantly even trying to push on my side, which was a joke. I had to push harder and longer than I've ever had to push. I kept saying to myself that the harder I pushed the sooner the pain would be over. I won't bore you with the complete details.

I don't know if I have the baby blues or if I am just at my absolute limit. There is no down time, things are constantly in motion. P is a great baby, thank the lord. In the midst of all of this I have decided to sit for the bar exam again because I failed it this summer. So I have completely lost my mind, even typing it I am shaking my head. I don't know how I am going to manage this. I just feel like I need to try while the information is fresh in my head. Plus I just don't know how I will manage it any other time until maybe 5-6 years from now. The husband is going back down range summer/fall so this really is my best option for a while.

So I haven't been posting, because I haven't had much to say. The kids are great. The baby is great. I on the other hand am feeling like I don't have skin. Hard to explain, but I am just not quite myself yet.