The Coughing

I swear if one more doctor tells me that my son's cough is just a cough and try a humidifier I am going to body slam their stethoscope. H has a cough, it keeps him and everyone else in the house awake at night. He coughs until it sounds like he will puke. He is upset and exhausted. I finally tried some magic words like coughing spell and reactive airway and we got an albuterol inhaler. Which by the way the doctor said might make him bounce off of the wall. So my child who isn't sleeping well will now have even more reason not to sleep.

Some days I wish I could go to medical school. I wish I could prescribe my own medicine and take care of my children myself. Plus at our current military clinic there are a ton of residents and interns. Our "Dr" today looked like she was about 23 years old. The last time we went in our "Dr" who looked 16 asked me if I was a doctor, I think because I do research before I go in and know some of the lingo. I am so thankful that we have not had to deal with any serious illness, other than the cancer scare we had a couple of months ago.

Maybe I will go to medical school, oh yeah and add that to the $70,000 of student loan debt I already have. Sigh.

Where is the Manual

Last night I mopped the floor while listening, okay jamming out to my ipod. I realized half way through that it had been almost a year since I'd done that. Come to think of it, the last time was when I was pregnant with C and I fell down while mopping.
So, I am mopping and listening to music and thinking about when H was a baby and my husband was in Iraq. I had this nightly ritual. Henry and I would eat around 1700, I was doing weight watchers, so I was starving by 1700. I would bathe Henry and put him to bed around 1900. Then I would jump on the treadmill for a run. Afterwards I would mop the floors. I don't think I would mop every night, but maybe every other. The point is I did something for myself every day. Fast Forward we have moved two more times and have two more children and I am struggling to keep toe nail polish on. I don't do anything every night other than try to keep the disaster that is my house at bay.
I swear it seems like just yesterday I was sitting in my apartment at college making macaroni and cheese after I'd been out drinking. I always made mac and cheese before I went to sleep to try and keep from having a hang over the next day. All of the sudden I am an Army wife and mother of three small children. I used to have a brain. I used to study and go to school. I used to have the entire world open to me. Now I can hardly get to the grocery store, incidentally I haven't been to the grocery store in over a week. We are starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel for dinner. I don't remember what happened. Oh that's right, this guy asked me to marry him. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, I love being a mom. Today at preschool, H's teacher told me some really great things about him and how he is doing. It was so wonderful.
What drives me crazy is that I feel like I have lost myself. I used to wear cute clothes and great shoes. I used to read novels and drive a really sexy car. Now my clothes are rarely even clean. I drive a minivan that is totally cluttered up with stuff. I read romance novels because reading them does not involve thinking. I feel like I am just getting by.
I think I missed the part where they handed out the manual where the rules were written out. Like, some women will hardly gain an ounce during pregnancy, while others will blow up like some one put an air hose in their mouths. You will not see fellow air hose women, you will only know the tiny petite women. I went to a picnic for my husband's new job. I swear all of the other wives were tiny and dressed very nicely. I was wearing my summer uniform, Capri's and a v neck t-shirt. How did I miss the train? Where the hell was the manual, class, memo whatever that explained how the hell you are supposed to be mother, wife, chef, maid, plumber, mechanic, chauffeur, laundry wench, etc and still keep wear fashionable clothes and have a cute hair style. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I guess for starters I can make a nightly date with my ipod and my mop.

Wee Boy Urinal

A knock on the door the other day signaled the arrival of (trumpet fanfare) the Peter Potty Urinal. My cousin has this mite sized urinal for her two boys, and S has been really interested in using the potty. S is still a little too small to stand and pee into the big potty, so I thought perhaps a wee sized urinal would do the trick. Well, we have had it two days and I have had to clean up elephant sized pee spills. See, the urinal has a water tank on top so that your tykes can flush their very own urinal. The pee and the water goes into a little tray with handle at the bottom. The first time was my own fault, I refilled the water tank without emptying the tray. H and S flushed the urinal about twenty times when water and pee started gushing out of the tray, Peeagra Falls, eww gross. The second time today, S went into the bathroom and was trying to empty the tray into the potty. While I applaud his attempt at helping, he didn't get much of the pee water into the potty. In the midst of all of this I discovered that the floor in the bathroom is not level, all of the pee water slowly flowed from one end of the bathroom to the other.
Everyone is fascinated by having a urinal, I fully expect to sneak up and catch my husband peeing into it. I wonder if they make itty bitty urinal cakes? Interestingly enough, another name for urinal cake is toilet lolly. How delightful.

Sleep Zombie

I think the lack of sleep is finally getting to me. C is getting up two to three times a night. This morning his wake up coincided with his Dad's wake up. Our bathroom is right off of the room, so even with the door closed the room was really bright which totally woke C up. He was up from 0500 to 0700. Argh. Then H was up at 0600. So no sleep for me. I am feeling part of the way to crazy land. Maybe running in the election for mayor of crazy land. I start getting this panicky feeling that he will never sleep. S just did not have sleep issues. He still loves to sleep. He slept until 0800 this morning. At least by the time C is in college he can supervise himself and then I will be able to sleep.

Blogger's Block

I have three or four saved drafts, but nothing sounds witty or interesting. I am here, I just can't think of anything intelligent to say. The kids have been sick. I am tired. I still have a zillion boxes to unpack which my next door neighbor commented on today. She leaned into the garage and was asking me what everything was. She also wanted to know what was up with the car seat that had been sitting in front of our garage for a week. S puked on it and I haven't motivated to finish cleaning it and getting the cover back on that I washed. Geez. Well, I moved it to the garage. See, this is the material that I have, not much. I had a job offer, but I decided not to take it. I want to be at home with the kids, but it was tough to say no to something that would give me adult interaction. We watched Yo Gabba Gabba today, but I am afraid it is some kind of mind altering program. It has a weird 70s vibe to it. Why does DJ Lance have five little alien looking dudes in his boom box case????

What is a poop in the hand worth?

Yesterday our two year old came downstairs with poop in each hand. You know you are a mom when you are grateful that the poop is in one piece and has not been smeared anywhere. He was bringing it down to put in the trash can. At first I didn't realize that his destination was the trash can, so I chased him around the house trying to stop him from doing something with the poop. Fortunately he made it to the trash can at the same time I did so I could open the lid for him. Ahhhh motherhood, isn't it just great. Ewww! Ewww! Ewww!

Walter Reed

Today the boys and I went to Walter Reed. We had to pick up some paper work for H so he can start pre-k. How do you explain to a very curious preschooler why that young man is in a wheelchair and does not have his legs? I told H that the man had a boo boo, serious understatement I know, but I can't tell him that the man was hurt in Iraq, because his daddy will be going back to Iraq or Afghanistan and I don't want to scare him. I know kids his age tuck that kind of info away. It is amazing to see these young men, I know there are also young women, but we have only seen men. I am starting to lose count of the amputees that we have seen. I have only seen one person that was missing only one limb. Mostly we see double amputees. The most incredible thing about these young guys is that not a single one is hanging his head. They are all going about there business. I am amazed by there strength. These guys are defining the word HERO, these wounded warriors. I on the other hand get back in the car and cry a little, it breaks my heart to see the young guys missing limbs. It also scares me to death, because I know that my husband is going back.